Staff of virtually everything, at one point or another. Even here.

Was first asked by Atropos to help with code in late June of 2003. Actually became real staff in late October of 2004.

Actually Lyle

Smith & Tinker's
Patent Double-Action Extra-Responsive


Fitted With Our Special Clock-Work Attachment
Thinks, Speaks, Acts and Does Everything But Live
Manufactured Only at Our Works at Evna, Land of Ev
All Infringements Will Be Promptly Prosecuted
According to Law

  1. For Thinking: Wind the Clockwork Man Under His Left Arm
  2. For Speaking: Wind the Clockwork Man Under His Right Arm
  3. For Walking & Action: Wind the Clockwork Man in the Middle of His Back

Not Actually Lyle
Strikingly Similar in Mood, Though

"I'm going to draw a picture
and I'm going to put in an eight-lane superhighway
and I'm going to draw you on it in an old jalopy.

And then I'm going to draw a whole fleet of Mack trucks barreling along the highway with their brights on.

And then I'm going to draw a flat tire on the jalopy.
And then I'm going to draw the whole jalopy in X-ray to show that you've got no gas."

— United States by Laurie Anderson

Also Not Actually Lyle
Striking Similar in Looks, Though

Whirlwind at W.O.R.A..

Chibi Lyle

C'mon down and buy a Sputnik!
We've got miles and miles of Sputnik!
They're friendly! They're cheap! They taste good!
A Sputnik a day keeps the doctor away!
— Sigue Sigue Sputnik 'Massive Retaliation'

A dangerous toy. This toy is being made for the extreme priority the good looks. The little part which suffocates when the sharp part which gets hurt is swallowed is contained generously. Only the person who can take responsibility by itself is to play.

He says that it sounded like my hobbit that turns the crank case is depressed and needs therapy. We need get us a new hobbit; they's from the Land Beyond Time. Land Beyond Time is also gonna hook us up with a unicorn for the radiator. I ain't even gonna -tell- you about that haunted air conditioner. Plus, the air filter? That's made of plutonium. That's gonna involve Superman, so you know, plus shipping from Krypton. And the cow? Jumped over the moon.

— Meatwad : Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Trooping Faerie: May I be blunt?
Butter Spirit: I'd prefer it devious, but be plain if you must..

— Magical Legend of the Leprechauns

"It's an empty journey to triumph…
…if you don't plant the seeds of catastrophe along the way."

— Tim Jones : Scary-Go-Round

"Rage on, wee zebra. There be hyenas."

— Lolth@Snark/WOFA

"I drive at night; the police radio is my compass. Looking for answers for questions, I'm only learning how to ask about things adults dismiss. But children are right to fear shapes that lurk in the darkness, nightmares that intrude from another realm, forces that spring not from the imagination but live amongst us in the city. Those forces have taken something from me, something you can never recover. So, I stalk the night…looking and knowing our fear of the dark never really goes away. We just learn to pretend it's not there."

— Carl Kolchak, the Night Stalker

"Oo la la! Zis toffee, it makes me tingle!"

— Lickety Splitz Toffee Campaign Slogan

"You said let's capture us a mermaid, take her to America, and get rich! Not let's kidnap the Queen of the What's-It that turns into a monster and eats people! I think I would've remembered the difference!!"

— Random Sailor: 'She-Creature' \(2001\)

"We're not thieves! We just take from others to give to ourselves.
Some would call that entrepreneurial!"

— Jessie of Team Rocket

"Oh no. I am lost. Oh look, a trail of clothes. I will follow it."

"Oh Mac, I have found you. This helpful trail of clothes has shown me where I have been and where I have not. Thanks to them, I am safe from my lostedness. Thank you helpful trail of clothes. I love you."

— Blooregard Q. Kazoo

"As far as I'm concerned,
Bacon comes from a magical happy place."

— Detective Frank Hayes: 'John Doe: John Deux'
(after declining learning about slaughterhouses)

"Try the House of Fun. It's quicker if you run."

— Madness: "The House of Fun"

"Lefty loosey, righty tighty
Wrench in one hand, feeling mighty.
Let me at that dead machine
Let me at that faucet thing."

— They Might Be Giants

"One must -always- be prepared to liberate treasure…"

— Vala Mal Doran: Stargate SG-1

"What care I for human hearts? Soft and spiritless as porridge!
A faerie's heart beats fierce and free!"

— Oona: Legend

There's no need to be afraid of strange noises in the night.
Anything that intends you harm will stalk you silently.

— Anon

The mother held her darling daughter
For fifteen minutes under the water.
She didn't mean to cause her troubles;
It was just to see the funny bubbles.

— Anon

"Did I drink some poison..
..that I don't remember, now?
Is that blood on my hands?
No, my hands are clean.

Did I do something in another lifetime..
..that was really really mean?"

— Laurie Anderson: "Poison"

"Nothing is more delightful than to confuse and upset people"

— Tristan Tzara

"When life gives you crap,
You make crap golems"

— Sizemore Rockwell, Dirtomancer

"I don't want to go to sleep
Lucy, won't you come with me?
Let's go paint the town red. Let's go paint the town red.

All these people bother me
Let's go on a killing spree.
Let's go paint the town red. Let's go paint the town red."

— Lucy: Daughter of the Devil

"Living in the city you forget a lot of things.
You know what I was just thinking?
About being mugged or hit by a car?
It's not until you get back to nature that you realize
-everything- is out to get you.
So my father always told me to respect nature,
because it has -no- respect for you."

— Special Agent Dana Scully: X-Files

"If he's the plumber, why doesn't he have any tools?"

"He's a holistic plumber?"

— "The Guru"

"You could tell by her wrists
She'd be good to kiss."

— The Boy: Scary-Go-Round

"Any problem can be solved by a bag of gold, suicide,
or pushing someone off a roof."
— Anon

Current IC Time:


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