|Bentley Quorn's Vitals|
|Name: Bentley Angus Quorn|
|Shortdesc: 40-something, 6', 160 lbs|
|Position: Ex-Mayor of Chicago|
|Fame: See Position|
|Philippe at Bride.RU as Bentley Angus Quorn
Released a breeding pair of gargoyles into Chicago during the lame-duck term of his mayoral run.
Inspiration: Scary-Go-Round's Bentley Quorn
Dateline: January 4th 2004
Chicago's own Mayor Bentley Quorn announced today his plan to introduce a pair of gargoyles to the urban wildlife ecosystem. "Not only will it serve as a distinctive tourist attraction, but also it will help educate children to the less orthodox fauna our land has to offer. Probably will do a good number on the rats and pigeons, too. It's a win-win situation!" To be imported from the Ozarks is a three foot tall female Common Gargoyle, nicknamed Ginger Kang Kang, as well as a male nicknamed Pazuzu. In European cities, gargoyles have been known to thrive in urban environments, as they mimic the cliff-faces the animals are designed for. Although of the same species as the American Gargoyle, the European strain tends towards a larger size, sometimes twice that of the American variety. It is rumored that the elusive North Eurasian Horned Gargoyle might be a cousin to the highly endangered and possibly extinct draconic genus, and that the stories of the Central American 'chupacabra' might be a terrestrial offshoot of the American Common Gargoyle.
When asked about if the gargoyles would present a threat to Chicago citizens, Mayor Quorn had this to say, "Not at all. Gargoyles mostly feed on dead things and animals. There hasn't been a reported case of a gargoyle attack in this country for decades. As long as you're human and keep your head up, it's all good. They have a pretty distinctive call, too. Sort of like a crow with a sore throat, choking on a bullfrog." Critics of Mayor Quorn's plan have offered a range of opinions, ranging from "a plan of dubious merit" to "downright boneheaded", citing this as a potential ploy to cause problems for the upcoming election, with this being his final 'lame duck' term.. Quorn's reply to this criticism: "To make an omelet, you have to break a few eggs. And what's that quote about living in interesting times? At least it'll give something folks to talk about for years to come. The reported attacks in Paris are mostly just bad press. I mean, they're not much more than flying monkeys with a taste for trash. Put a fez and a little red vest on one and I bet everyone would love it!"
Accompanying the article is a photo of Pazuzu and Ginger Kang Kang en route to Illinois. Although black and white, a touch blurry, and shot through the bars of a chain link cage, both animals seem like a nightmare blend of a snakehead fish's face, the stance of a hairless sloth, and the high-chest and narrow abdomen of a half-starved greyhound, with oversized gray-scaled batwings folded up against the shoulderblades.